A Day in the Life Of...

...a Russell & Bromley Tassel Loafer

7:30am ah that must be the morning bell! Octavia’s up and rushing to the shower before you can say “Rise and Shine!”

Speaking of shine, how fly do I look today?

What a quick shower - must be a personal best. Ha! She beat the rest of those Sleepy Susans to it.

Uniform on, hair perfectly blow dried, tie straightened and she slips me on to complete the look. There never was a more chic Head Girl.

Down to breakfast. Out of the way you stupid First Formers - urgh they are so cocky these days - didn’t even bother to hold the door open!

Yasssss! It’s Friday and that means MUFFIN DAY - her fave. I wish they wouldn’t drop bits on the floor though - very squishy ewwww.

Off to the first lesson - photography. Obviously Octavia is top of the class, her Andy Warhol inspired self-portraits are SO original.

Textiles up next. Corset dress nearly complete, and the look is finished off with me - edgy but classic. Srsly she is the next Vivienne Westwood.

Free period! Thank God. Sooo much O.C to catch up on. It’s been SUCH a busy morning, poor darling needs a rest.

Lunch - hmmmm. Nothing suitable on the menu so Octavia and Podge order a pizza from Dominoes and eat it behind the Cookery Hut. SO naughty! Not much fun for me, it’s a bit gritty round the back here - and my soles are a bit sensitive to rough surfaces. I was designed for the Kings Road, not THIS.

Maths - urgh who needs it. Especially when Daddy owns a bank - surely everyone has other people to do their maths for them?

Quick ciggie break behind the Sports Hall - What a thrill! Not enjoying the mud though, and traipsing through years of cigarette butts is v nasty.

Finally a sports lesson! And today we are watching Wimbledon to learn how to play tennis - how heavenly.

Dash to Tuck Shop to get a packet of Discos and Diet Coke to see her through until supper time. What an array of footwear the younger girls wear these days - surely Doc Martins aren’t classed as school shoes … ?

Spending the evening working on the old UCAS application - but Octavia will probably get into Oxford anyway, when Daddy donates a library.

Another perfect day in boarding school paradise.



Words Emily Bray, Illustration Olivia Dueser 

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A Day In the Life of...

...  Jo Malone's Lime Basil & Mandarin Cologne


Goodness, what a beautiful morning. Ah! There's nothing like the sun streaming through a large Chelsea window on a sunny morning.Gosh, the light really bounces off the marble in the most gorgeous way. Although I'm not sure this bathroom is big enough, the one in St Tropez is much roomier.Ah, she does look lovely today. Looks like she's off to yoga. Yes, as I thought, a spritz of me is the perfect addition to her Luluemon ensemble. Although I do wish she wouldn't wear those garish trainers. Monochrome is much more chic...Oh no, she's forgotten her Chanel hand cream! Someone's going to regret that later...La la la, what a divine day. Although I do wish she would store me further along the shelf from those hideous Nivea products - so tacky.URGHThe wonderful Maria is here to clean - at last! Hmm not very thorough. Spent more time checking her phone than cleaning. I can feel the dust building up on my side - how unsightly.Yay, she's back from yoga, glowing as usual. How does she do it? Yes a nice bath with some of my bath oil variant is exactly what she needs. I really do smell splendid.Go on, light the candle...LIGHT THE CANDLE.She lit the candle!Oofttt - bathroom got a big fogged up with all the overpowering fragrance. Just heavenly.Off she goes to her book club. Pearls on. Latest Jilly Cooper in hand.What a wonderful life...

Words Emily Bray

Illustration Olivia Dueser

A Day in the Life Of...

... An Alex Monroe Bumblebee Necklace

London is brimming with fashion clichés, whether it is a sloaney pony catwalking the Kings Road in her Zara staple, or an edgy kid trudging the streets of Dalston in their Vans stripe trainers.  For this post Alex Monroe's Bumblebee, a common sight in London's Parsons Green, shares a typical day with us..."URGH - dragged out of the Smythson jewellery box again this morning at some ungodly hour. It's so dark and cluttered in there...I can't believe she stuffs me in there every night with those tacky bits from Accessorize and Topshop. Puts me on just after she's had a shower - what an idiot...I will start to lose my shine if she continues to do that - I REALLY don't like water.Brilliant, she's decided to go with the black polo neck again, she really has no style - I definitely go best with a blue or a green. Late for the tube, classic. Every morning she gets up and procrastinates for about half an hour about how to do her hair - it literally looks the same every day. When will she realise that?At the desk just in time, god Barbara looks hideous today - what was she doing last night? I've noticed she has a knock off version of me on - wonder where on earth she got it?Meetings, meetings, meetings.Another boring trip to Pret for lunch. Ohh, treated herself to a Choc Bar did she? Someone's going to have to hit the gym later ...Admin, admin, admin.When will this day ever end?Finally she's escaped. Back on the tube - ewww. Why is everyone here wearing Zara?Ah going for a quick drink with Quentin after work are we? He complemented me - I like him!A glass of Rose? Honestly she couldn't get more basic if she tried. I'm really getting bored of The Orange Pub, she really needs to get more original in her date spot choices.I noticed about 5 other Bumblebees draped around Sloaney necks at the pub. God - when did I become so generic?Quick snog with Quentin at the tube - he was wearing a Schoffel gilet, it was quite cosy to snuggle up to.Back home - it took her about three goes to get the key in the door. If this wasn't Kensington she would have 100% been mugged by now. What a piss head.No food in the fridge - so she eats about half a loaf of bread with butter and marmite - she really needs to get her shit together.Oh no! Clarissa is home and crying about something boring. Thankfully we slip past her unnoticed and get into our room before she stops us for a DMC. THANK GOD.Now she falls asleep watching 'Gossip Girl' - with me and the light on. Good times...Well, at least it's better than that bloody box.xoxo

Words Emily Bray